Doubting Thomas, Angry Thomas Sunday March 30 Rev. Ken McKenzie   Today we have Thomas the Apostle. Doubting Thomas some folks like to call him. I don’t know about you but I kind of identify with all the major league apostles from time to time. At times I am the loud mouthed brute James and John. Sometimes I’m impetuous Peter who rushes in where angels fear to tread. Peter, it doesn’t surprise me that in our lesson from Acts today just stood up and started preaching. That’s Peter for you. And then sometimes I’m like Andrew; I’m a little bewildered just trying to figure out what in the world is going on. Then again sometimes I am Thaddeus. Kind of a quiet, behind the scenes follower who never makes a splash. Kind of one of those, what I call the shadow disciples. Have you ever heard of a St. Thaddeus Presbyterian Church? Probably never will. We just don’t know that much about him. Then there are my Thomas days. Thomas is the resident cynic of the crowd of apostles. It was Thomas, who, when he heard Jesus saying that they were going to go to Jerusalem there to meet his enemies. Thomas was the one that said “Well, let us go with him also to Jerusalem. That we may die also with him.” You know the last time I preached on this passage. I equated Thomas with that Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore. I still think its true. Thomas’ Gospel might well be called the Gospel according to Eeyore. He’s always cynical. He’s always a little down. He’s always rather depressing to be with. “Well, I don’t know let’s give it a try. The worst that could possibly happen is catastrophic disaster. If we’re lucky.” You know the more I meditate on Thomas. Especially this last week. The more I think about him and see him in myself. The more I am convinced that it wasn’t doubt that plagued Thomas. It was anger. Thomas the angry Apostle. Anger that nobody had listened to his common sense approach which would have led Jesus away from Jerusalem and kept Jesus alive, teaching, healing, loving. It was anger. Anger that he wasn’t in control of things. The play had not gone according to Thomas’ script. I submit that it was anger not doubt that caused him to make his sudden declaration of disbelief. He had been, at least to his way of thinking, used. He had been used by Jesus before and he was not about to set himself up for that fools hope again. Isn’t that just like us on some of our darker days? We like to think that we’ve got God all figured out. Then when things seem to be going pretty good; God sometimes pulls the carpet out from underneath our feet. Things spin out of control. Our hopes and our dreams are endangered, if not destroyed. The life blood of our spirit seems to be sucked out of our souls. We’re left wounded and wondering, “What happened to us?” It doesn’t help when some preacher has the audacity to ascend the pulpit and say some weird words about Gods wisdom being greater than ours, and God having a plan which is beyond our understanding, and God’s will being hard to follow. Truth be told we trusted God and God let us down. We’re hurt, we’re confused, and we’re not sure we can trust God anymore. That’s pretty radical thoughts for a Presbyterian pulpit tell you the truth. But I hasten to assure you that if you have never been there before. You will in all likelihood be there at some point in your life. So what do we do when doubtful anger, or angerful doubt, gnaws at our souls. This is hard for us protestant reformation types. We have to claim that anger. We have to declare that we’re really mad, we’re hurt, we’re wounded, we’re wondering what in the world is going on. Thomas did. He claimed that anger. His words to those disciples probably stung their hearts like a thousand hornets. I have a sense that his inflection was not the gentle cadences of scripture as it has recorded, “Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my fingers in the mark of the nails and place my hand in his side. I will not believe.” I don’t think he said it that way. In my heart of hearts I think he said something like, “UNLESS, UNLESS I SEE THE NAIL PRINTS IN HIS HANDS AND STICK MY FINGER IN THEM. UNLESS I TAKE MY HAND AND THRUST IT IN HIS SIDE. I WILL NOT BELIEVE.” That’s more the feeling I get as I think long and hard on this passage. I think Thomas claimed that anger. He claimed that frustration. He claimed it in front of all the apostles. They probably stood there in slack jawed amazement. They’d seen him mad before, but never like this, and he wasn’t about to go hook line and sinker for the bait that stood before him. Claim it if you are angry at God. Let him know. Those of us who are parents our children let us know when they are mad at us; especially and infant. When they’re hurt, hungry, mad or distressed they let us know. Do we think the less of them because they let us know they need something? No we love them the more. The same with God. God can take our anger. Our disappointment. Last time I checked on God he had pretty broad shoulders. Claim the anger, be honest about it. It’s as natural as the rising of the sun and it’s setting. Secondly, give it some time. Did your children instantly get better when you changed their plans or interfered with their agendas. Did they automatically and immediately acquiesce some change in something they had hoped for. Mine certainly didn’t. It took time. Work up a good mad if you need to. Get it going and finally get it out of your system. There is a marvelous old American Indian saying, “Don’t push the river. It flows by itself.” Let the anger pass. Let it wash over you if it needs to, but let it go on and flow downstream. However long it takes is however long it takes. Thirdly, be open to the possibility that your viewpoint may need to change about what God is, who God is, and be willing to wait till the moment is right. God did not intervene with Thomas right at that moment when he expressed his anger. Eight days later when it had all had time to marinate, and when Thomas had struggled with all of this. It was eight days later when God broke in. Jesus finally showed up. Not right at that moment, but at the right moment. Finally, don’t restrict what God is doing. John certainly didn’t. Allow Jesus to be a three dimensional figure in your heart not a two dimensional figure in scripture. John says, that Jesus said many more things, and did many more things than have been recorded in this book. But, these are recorded so that you may believe. Could your life, and your wisdom, your experiences, your love all be contained in a dozen or so stories about you? Could it all be contained in a few thousand of your recorded words? Of course not. You and I, we are more than the sum of the parts of our recorded stories. So is Jesus. When we allow Jesus to come and meet us on his terms rather than restricting him to what we read in scripture. Then we allow the full love and power of God to inter into our lives. Doubting Thomas, Angry Doubting Thomas. Of all the people in Holly scripture he is the one, to me, that meets us right where we are. Right where we struggle, right where we hurt. Doubtful, angry Thomas. But that’s not the end of the story. Thomas did go on to write his own gospel even though it didn’t make it into the Holly Canon. The Gospel of Thomas it’s a good book; a good read. I’d recommend it to you some time. You’ll find it in the apocryphal books. Thomas went on, became a missionary, founded the Church in India, a church which is still there. Virtually unchanged after two thousand years Thomas went on to participate in the growth and development of the church. I like to think that a lot of it was because he was strengthened by his willingness to struggle with God on the issue of Jesus’ sovereignty and resurrection. Just as Jacob in the old testament struggled with God at that place that later became Beth ‘el. It’s okay to struggle with God. In fact, I think sometimes God really expects it of us.